Legs jokes
Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"
What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.