Legs jokes
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?