Legs

Legs jokes

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

  • 6

    • Why is sex like math?

    You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

    What does a disabled disco play?

    "When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

    A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.

    At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

  • 1

    • My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

    Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

    The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

    How does a disabled person play chess?

    I think you forgot they don't have legs.

    Jack and Jill went up a hill

    To pick some dill.

    Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,

    And he needed a painkiller pill.

  • 1

    • What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

    Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

    If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

    What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

    Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

    What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.

    What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.

    What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.