Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
Law Jokes
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
