Law jokes

Rape is not a joke.

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

No such thing as peados.... it’s all nonce-sense!

Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?

Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

Why did the pedophile cross the road?

Because there was a school on the other side.

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.

He just turned a blind eye.

Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?

He fingered a minor.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?

Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.

It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.

It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.

What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?

Johnny in debt.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."

Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?

Because they don’t have a sister.