Law jokes
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Memes
murder
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Why do most orphans rob banks?
Because they just want to feel wanted.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!