Law jokes
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Rape is no laughing matter. The reason why women are not believed in rape is because of you mother fucking shitbirds with no future who will become drunkards and drug dealers who go broke and live on the street getting hit by a fucking car. Fuck all of you sadists who think this kind of shit is funny, well shut the fuck up. Go jump off a bridge or get hit by car and I hope you fucking sickos die.
Stop rape. Stop rappe. Stop rapibg innocent children and women and men. I am done with rape. I am done with it!
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.