Law jokes

What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?

Driving under the influencer.

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.

What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?

"Dine and dash."

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?

Border hoppers! LOL.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.