Law jokes
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do: tell their parents?
Why do most orphans rob banks?
Because they just want to feel wanted.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
For fingering the minor.