Law jokes

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

You call it a school shooting.

I call it an unfair shootout.

Why are orphans never in jail?

Because they're never wanted.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.

I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Seven was a registered six offender.

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

So he could make a clean getaway!

Why do orphans have criminal records?

So they can be wanted.