Law

Law jokes

Pedo

  • 101 pedo jokes.

    Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?

    Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.

    Keep it going on lol.

  • 3
  • Priest

  • Man: I must confess, Father.

    Priest: What are you here to confess?

    Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

    Priest: And what happened to your son?

    Man: He said a man raped him.

    Priest: When and where did this happen?

    Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

    Priest: ...By whom?

    Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

    Priest: ...Shit

  • 3
  • Abortion

  • When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

  • 0
  • Incest

  • Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

  • 1
  • Bride

  • A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."

    Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.

    "Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?

    "You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.

    Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.

    Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"

    Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."

  • 0
  • Bandit

  • Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.

  • 0
  • Bomb

  • I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

    I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

    He gave me a book.

    It was the Quran.

    I said, "What the hell is that?"

    He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

  • 1
  • Double Standard

  • I hate double standards.

    Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

  • 0
  • Penis

  • What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

    The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

  • 1
  • Mama

  • Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

    Orphan

  • Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.