Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
Law Jokes
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
KK or Liv?
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
