Law

Law jokes

Museum

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

Murder

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Ugliness

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

Lawyer

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Exam

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Lawsuit

Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.

Traffic

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

Body

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Eagle

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

Helmet

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

Crime

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

Orphan

Why do orphans become criminals?

To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Orphan

What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?

Criminals are wanted.