Law jokes

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

A boy asks his father:

"What is politics?"

Father answers:

"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

Our maid is the working class.

Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

The next day his father asks him:

"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

The boy says:

"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.

What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?

Border hoppers! LOL.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?

"Dine and dash."

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.