Law jokes

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?

Because who wants a traffic an adult?

What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?

The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?

The word "art."

How does the cop respond to being called racist?

He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."

Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"

"No."

"Have you always been honest?"

"No, never been caught!"

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)