Law jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
Bro how are my favorite rappers gonna make good music if they can’t pop PERKIES
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.