Law jokes
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?
You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.