Law jokes
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
Why can't orphans become criminals? Because she isn't wanted.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.