Law jokes
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
Because they aren't wanted.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.