Law jokes
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
Female Rights?
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
What's black and white and red all over? A police brutality case.
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.