Law jokes
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Memes
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH