Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
Law Jokes
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
