Law jokes
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Memes
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?