Law jokes
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Why do orphans become criminals?
So they can become wanted for once.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.