Laughter jokes

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick-alot-a-puss.

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

What did the blind man say on Christmas?

"I can feel your presents!"

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?

A: Because they are humerus.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

Lol, I have no life :)

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oliver.

Oliver who?

Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

Why did the skeleton want a friend?

Because she was feeling bonely.

I put the fun in funeral.