What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
whats black and screams stevie wonder answering the iron
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never grow old.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
