Last jokes
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
Memes
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
You can't YEE your last HAW!
But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."