Last jokes

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?

The last names after marriage!

What were the balloon's last words to his Father?

"Watch me, Pop!"

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.