Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.