Last jokes

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

What’s the last balloon George Floyd blew up? His heroin balloon.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

What were the balloon's last words to his Father?

"Watch me, Pop!"

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?

The last names after marriage!

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.