Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.
Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.
This is my name: watersharky!
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
The last two presidents of the US.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
