"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
