Language jokes
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
Person: Why? You: No.
The F in orphan stands for family.
Wait, there is no F. (F)
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."