Language jokes
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
Person: Why? You: No.
The F in orphan stands for family.
Wait, there is no F. (F)
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Memes
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.