Language jokes
Butter believe it.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
More random keyboard words made into sentences:
This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Are you peeling well?
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.