Language

Language jokes

Sadness

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

Magician

There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.

Word

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

Memes

Dick

What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?

A dictator.

Click

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

Green Card

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

Comma

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Dish

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Dishes."

"Dishes who?"

"Dishes a bad joke."

Cow

What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!

Murder

Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?

He totally kilt her.

Curse

My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!