Language jokes
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
What do you call a Mexican door?
Dora.
JAJAJA
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
My brother: Is aren’t built of are and not or are and n’t??
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.