So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.

I will always remember the last noise i hear in my school, “oogga booga motherf****rs,” click, boom

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