Language jokes
Dick.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
Memes
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?