Language jokes
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
Dick.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
What do we find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Wanna hear a long joke?
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!!!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Today, I invented a new word: "plagiarism."
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."