Language jokes
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
What do we find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
Memes
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?