Language jokes
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?
Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
When is a door not a door?
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.