Language jokes
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What is your name?
My ankle is named Samantha.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Asian without "As" is just sin.
Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.
Suc my dic
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at funerals.
Clarm chin ass bou ducky wack wakaka chuck chuyli bingbong DA sauec.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
Suck my ass, guys!
Puns, that's how I roll.