Language jokes
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
Memes
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
The is the no the yes yes the no the.
Balls.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.
Asian without "As" is just sin.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Suc my dic
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.