Language jokes
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
What is your name?
My ankle is named Samantha.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.
Asian without "As" is just sin.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Suc my dic
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."