Language jokes
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.
Knock knock. Who's there? Abajo. Abajo who? I have abajo of water with me.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!
Aren't I beary good?
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Why is 8 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."