Language jokes
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Shyneyngsngneg sngengenetntwnga giulgekgengjsg genegngmtentwnnwgbgw.
Knock knock!
Who is it?
Knock.
Knock who?
Knock you.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
El, can you grab me that bow?
Are you peeling well?
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
Are you fin-ished with your work?
(Knock knock) Who's there? Accident. Accident who? Accident you.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "I'm." "I'm who?" "I'm a joke!"
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
Chinmey?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
Hello, are you there?
Yes, who are you?
My name is Watt.
What’s your name?
Watt’s my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John What?
Yes, are you Jones?
No, I’m Knott.
Will you tell me your name?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt, Knott!
*hangs up*
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"