Language jokes
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
"Baaad boy."
Why did the butt fart?
Because they don't know the words.
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Suc my dic
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.