Kill jokes

What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?

A: Go kill yourself!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.

Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!

What’s the best Marvel villain song EVER?

It Was Agatha All Along!!! *gasp* And I killed Sparky, too. *laughs manically*

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

How did the inkjet printer kill himself?

He drank cyan-ide.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

Osama bin Laden

Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

How does the non binary kill white en Amy?

They/them.

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."