Kill jokes

When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.

Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

What’s the best Marvel villain song EVER?

It Was Agatha All Along!!! *gasp* And I killed Sparky, too. *laughs manically*

Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

How did the inkjet printer kill himself?

He drank cyan-ide.

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝

Why did 10 kill itself?

Because it was between 9/11.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?

A: Go kill yourself!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?

An AK-BAR 47.

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."