Kill Jokes

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed

My dad was one hell of a pilot Grandpa was a hell of a planner

I was walking to the park and a mystery killed came and shot me 😥😥😥

People: stop joking about such serious issues! me: kill yourself

I would kill for something to eat-the canible

I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The gaurd charged me with...mer-der

me, calls the police* me: hey imma commit suicide! cop on the phone: please wait till we get there me: why, so you can then stop me? cop on the phone: no, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper...and we are all bord! me: ok, my house number is ********************* ok! cop on the phone: awesome! just a sec. whispers*** guys I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.

Me:911 I just killed someone Cops:Cool we will not come Me:Why Cops:Don't admit a crime. Phones:*Bang Bang* Me:Well that was 2 crimes done.

Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”

one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.

two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl? Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her

Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school. The teacher asked why he had one. He said “I need it to beat up the principal” when the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.

Kill your self. Stop thinking whether or not to do it u dumb fucking cunt no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building bitch.

He is cominggggg!

*John Wick's dog dies naturally*
His friend: Don't be sad. God gives life and
god takes it.
John Wick: So you mean god killed my dog.
God:

Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*

Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^

Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*

Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go! If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder) will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian? That was my brain teaser for you guys! make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)