Kill jokes
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Foxy is red,
Bonnie is blue,
And Golden Freddy will kill you.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.