Kill jokes
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Memes
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
Foxy is red,
Bonnie is blue,
And Golden Freddy will kill you.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.