Kill

Kill jokes

Boyfriend

Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!

Villain

What’s the best Marvel villain song EVER?

It Was Agatha All Along!!! *gasp* And I killed Sparky, too. *laughs manically*

Teacher

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Threat

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

Lol

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Life

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

Restaurant

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

Kenny

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

Game

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

Suicide

Suicide

How do pigs kill themselves?

They commit Kermit-cide.

Cop

Dark Humor

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.