Kill

Kill Jokes

Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!

I like my women like I like my microwaves Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god my mom's gonna kill me!"

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The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office. "I'm feeling like killing myself," he said. "Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.

Uranus is larger than Neptune but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke also Neptune don't kill me)

So 2 kids argued and insulted each other...

KID 1: Your dad left because he didn't want you so why don't you kill yourself?

KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you.

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.