Kill Jokes

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Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all he did kill hitler himself

someone at my school the other day said the whoever killed hittler was a hero. whos going to tell him?

What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.

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Curiousity killed the cat. But for a while I was a suspect

A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?

The Helicopter Blade

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

What's big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?

A pool table.

There’s so many protests. Every time I see my body my choice, I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies

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IDK if this is a joke or a question but If killing yourself send you to hell where does siting in the waiting room get you?

My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.

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a conductor was conducting a song, at the end he through his conductor's stick and killed someone, he was put to the electric chair but nothing happened, they asked why he didn't die and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor"