Kill jokes
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
Did you just kill the last brain cell you have? Or are you just plain stupid?
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.