Kill jokes
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.
Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
My great great grandfather killed Hitler😌
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)