All these suicide jokes are fucking killing me
Call of duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever.
(one of my friends gave me this) Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
911, what’s your emergency? I asked, and listening to the quiet sobs of a litte kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me” the girl said and cried making me freeze on the spot as i recognized my daughter’s voice.
why do orphans kill people so they can finnaly be wanted
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather. Chloe says "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic" John says "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office. "I'm feeling like killing myself," he said. "Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
My granddad killed hitler
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh.. I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
my opinion on abortion is very divided like, on the one hand I like the idea of killing babies but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!
