Kid jokes

When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.

A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"

My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.

Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?

Son goat: No, what?

Dad goat: Goat meat.

Son goat: *Gasps*

Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?

Because they have cancer.

"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."

Me: Hey, I have candy.

Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?

Me: Some of deez nuts.

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

What do you call a gay emo kid?

Fruit Ninja.

Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

"Rosex, why you search that?" Does it mean "Roblox sex?" Kid, stop!

Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.

Orphans: YAY!

5 minutes later...

Orphans: Wait... where's the...

Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*

Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe