My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common? CANCER! Jks they are both fun to laugh at.
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
Cool kid: I slept with your sister.
Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.
Everyone else: :O
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Whats the difference between acne and a Catholic priest ? Acne doesn't cum on a kids face til their 13 or 14
