Kid jokes

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

Why was the kid sad?

He was adopted.

Why can't orphan kids play baseball?

'Cause they can't find home.

Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?

Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.

Stranger: Do you need a doctor?

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.

Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?

How do you surprise a blind kid?

Put a plunger in the toilet.

What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.

Kid: You hop to.

Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.

Orphan: I want to kill my parents.

Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.

If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"