Kid jokes
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?