Kid jokes
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Day 3
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
Time for double joke Tuesday.
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull.
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.
Kid: You're a dick, you know!
Me: And you're a pussy, you know?
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!