Kid jokes

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

No offense to anyone though. I don’t understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?

My opinion is well “it’s just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.”

So leave her alone. Thank you. 😁

What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?

Chewbacca.

What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.

Why did the kid go in the guy's van?

Answer: He thought he was being adopted.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?

"We are in the endgame now!"

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"

Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."

One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"

The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"

Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!

My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."

When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀