Kid jokes

To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"

Elementary school kids: School is fun.

Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Move to a new house.

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

No offense to anyone though. I don’t understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?

My opinion is well “it’s just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.”

So leave her alone. Thank you. 😁

What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?

Chewbacca.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.

Why did the kid go in the guy's van?

Answer: He thought he was being adopted.

What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?

"We are in the endgame now!"

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!

The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.

Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"

Kid named Teacher: *

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.