Kid jokes
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
hehe
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.
Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.