Kid jokes
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.