Kid jokes

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

What happens to emo kids when they go up?

They never come down.

What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?

When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!

Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

I read to deaf kids in my spare time.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.