Kid jokes
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
Willy Wonka meme
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!