One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Kid Jokes
August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.
Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."
A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
