Kid jokes

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

What is a fun game for an emo kid?

Tug-o-war with a tree.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?

Rapey Santa.

Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

I can smell your kids!

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!

"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."

When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.