Kid jokes

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

I gave a deaf kid AirPods.

Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"

The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!

Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.

Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D

What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?

His hide-and-seek skills.

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!

A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.

Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

I can smell your kids!

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."