Kid jokes
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.