Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Kid Jokes
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
