Kid jokes

What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

*in the hospital*

Paralyzed kid: I'm out!

*walks out the room*

Blind kid: You can walk?!

Mute kid: You can see?!

Deaf kid: You can talk?!

Doctor: Wut the f**k?

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?

Hot Wheels.

What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?

Coach.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.

What tree is every emo kid trying to find?

The hanging tree.