Kid jokes
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Memes
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.