Kid jokes

Why did the disabled kid cross the road?

(Why?)

He can't.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw a wok down the stairs.

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

Kid 1: "It's a bird!"

Kid 2: "It's a plane!"

Me: "It's a terrorist!"

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"