Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
