Justice jokes
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.