"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
Justice for all!
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
