Joke jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.