What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
Joke Jokes
Me. I am the joke.
What's an orphan's selfie called?
A family portrait.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
Why is 6 afraid from 7? 789
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
Guess the joke.
Your girlfriend.
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
