Joke jokes
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
(Answer) Ground beef.
Sorry for a bad joke.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.