Joke

Joke jokes

Microwave

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

Depression

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

Adoption

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

Number

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.

Giraffe

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Orphan

Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?

Because nobody will actually look for them.

Grass

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

Victim

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.

9/11

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.