Joke jokes
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.