Joke jokes
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
Whatâs an orphanâs favorite snake, self raising flour?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
Dark jokes are just like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Donât worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.