Joke jokes
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!