Joke jokes
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.