Joke jokes
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.