These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Joke Jokes
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
We don't read backwards.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
Sans: Zzzzzzzz
Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it dude?
Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Papyus: Grrrrr....
Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
