Joke jokes
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
Hey, I have a joke!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)
I like big butts in the Kent, la la "hehehe" SUS.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
A joke, huh?
My sense of humor.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the rear end.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.