Joke jokes

😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.

Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

Why is flour retarded?

Because it's in-bread.

What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?

They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?

Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).

Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.

Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.

Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To end his pain and suffering.

What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?