it's jokes
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.
Nevermind, it's too cheesy!
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.