it's jokes

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."

Gym Teacher: "That's alright."

Other Kid: "Hush!"

When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.

What is long, hard, and has cum in it?

A cucumber.

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂

Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped on a trampoline and she broke it.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.

My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.

Usain Boat.

How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.

Why is September 11th the best birthday? No one forgets it!

Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.