it's jokes
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind... It's too cheesy.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."