it's jokes

If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.

I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.

What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?

“Is It In?”

Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?

I just want to say good morning to Gwen and everyone on this site. Have a nice day.

What if it's okay if someone can see my blue jokes, hello, bully, love, crazy, and Ariana jokes? Thanks!

In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.

For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.

Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.

For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?

Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.

Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.

For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.

So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.

My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.

Hey, can I axe you a question?

My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."

There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."

The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"

Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?

Because it was a cunt.

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!