it's jokes
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
its just a prank. The prank
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
Your forehead is so big you could land a plane on it.